I f you are a God-fearing, gun-toting patriot, conservative companies are hungry for your business. If Google and YouTube have become too woke for you, consider ditching them for Tusk and Rumble. Before paying your monthly AT&T bill, you might want to switch to Patriot Mobile, the nation’s one-and-only Christian conservative wireless network. Rather than fruitlessly scouring Hinge for fellow right-wingers you can now make a profile on the Right Stuff, a dating app that helps users get to know each other by eliciting responses to prompts like “January 6th was” or “favourite liberal lie”. To get java roasted by veterans, consider sipping on Black Rifle Coffee’s “Silencer Smooth” (light roast), “ AK -47” (medium roast), or “Murdered Out” (extra dark roast). And to protest against Hershey honouring a transgender activist on international women’s day, you can instead buy Jeremy’s Chocolate, where the HeHim bar contains nuts and the SheHer one is unequivocally nutless.
如果您是一位敬畏上帝的爱国者，保守的公司渴望您的业务。如果Google和YouTube对您来说太醒了，请考虑将它们放在象牙和隆隆声中。在支付每月的AT＆T账单之前，您可能需要改用美国的一个和仅基督教保守的无线网络的爱国者Mobile。与其为右翼同胞提供毫无结果的铰链，您现在可以在正确的内容上撰写个人资料，而是一个约会应用程序，可以通过对“ 1月6日”或“最喜欢的自由主义谎言”等提示来帮助用户彼此了解。要获得退伍军人烤的Java，请考虑在黑色步枪咖啡的“消音器光滑”（轻烤），“ AK -47”（中等烤）或“被谋杀”（额外的深色烤肉）上饮用。为了抗议在国际妇女节上尊敬跨性别活动家的好时，您可以购买杰里米（Jeremy）的巧克力，在那里，赫希姆酒吧（Hehim Bar）含有坚果，而sheher却明确无坚果。
